I remember that day. I was helping my best friend plan her wedding, and we were stuck on a little issue, but one that felt big at the time. You see, one of her closest friends, someone she really wanted by her side during the ceremony, didn’t identify as either male or female. We were working on the wedding invitations, and we were using “bridesmaids” and “groomsmen,” but what was the best way to refer to this friend? That’s when I started my journey to find a gender-neutral term for “bridesmaid.”
First, I grabbed my laptop and started to search the internet. I typed in all sorts of phrases like “non-binary wedding party terms” and “gender-neutral bridesmaid alternatives.” I read through a lot of forum discussions, and blog posts, and even some wedding planning websites.
I found a few interesting suggestions. Some people recommended “bridesmate” or “mate of honor.” It sounded pretty good, and it was a nice way to include someone who might not feel comfortable with traditional gendered terms.
Then I stumbled upon another idea: “wedding attendant” or “honor attendant.” It seemed like a more formal and inclusive option, suitable for any member of the wedding party, regardless of their gender. I also discovered that some people simply used the term “celebrant,” which I thought was a bit too broad for what we needed.
I jotted down all these options and even found a mention of “bridesperson” or “bride’s attendant,” which felt a bit clunky to me. I even came across the term “bridesman,” which is specifically for a male member of the bride’s party, but that didn’t quite fit either.
After all this searching, I decided to have a chat with my friend and her non-binary friend to see what they preferred. We talked about the different terms I found, and they both agreed that “mate of honor” was a great choice. It felt personal, inclusive, and respectful.
So, in the end, we used “mate of honor” on the invitations and throughout the wedding planning process. It worked out perfectly, and everyone felt comfortable and included. It was a small change, but it made a big difference in making sure everyone felt valued and respected on such an important day.
- Reflecting back, it was a valuable learning experience for me. It taught me the importance of being mindful of language and making an effort to be inclusive, especially when it comes to important events like weddings. It’s these small gestures that can really make a person feel seen and appreciated.
