Alright, alright, let’s talk about them pink and white bridesmaid dresses, ya hear? My granddaughter, she’s gettin’ hitched, and lemme tell ya, pickin’ out these dresses is a whole heap of trouble. More trouble than a hen house full of roosters, I swear!
First off, they got all sorts of pinks. Not just pink, mind you. There’s “pale pink,” like a baby’s bottom, and then there’s this “fuchsia” thing, bright enough to scare a crow outta a cornfield. And don’t even get me started on the “blush” pink. What in tarnation is “blush” anyway? Sounds like somethin’ you’d put on your cheeks, not wear to a weddin’.
Then comes the white. Now, white’s white, right? Wrong! They got “ivory” white, which is kinda like a dirty white, and then there’s “diamond” white, which I guess is supposed to sparkle or somethin’. My head’s spinnin’ faster than a weathervane in a tornado.
And the fabrics! Lord have mercy. They got this “chiffon” stuff, feels like holdin’ a cloud, which ain’t practical at all. Who wants a dress that feels like nothin’? Then there’s “satin,” shiny like a new penny, but probably sticks to ya like molasses in July. And that “slinky slip” thing… sounds like somethin’ a snake would wear, not a respectable bridesmaid.
- Pink Dresses: Pale pink, baby pink, fuchsia, blush, all sorts of pinks you never even heard of.
- White Dresses: Plain white, ivory white, diamond white, makes your head spin.
- Fabrics: Chiffon, satin, slinky slip, sounds fancy but ain’t practical.
My granddaughter, she wants her bridesmaids lookin’ all “romantic” and “elegant.” I told her, “Honey, as long as they don’t look like they just rolled outta the hayloft, that’s elegant enough for me.” But no, she wants the whole shebang. Says it’s gotta be “picture perfect.” Well, I reckon pictures ain’t tasted a good pot of collard greens, so what do they know about perfect?
And the prices! Don’t even get me started on the prices. They want more for one of them dresses than I paid for my whole darn weddin’ outfit back in the day. It’s highway robbery, I tell ya. Pure highway robbery.
They showed me some pictures online, on this “Etsy” thing. Lots of pretty dresses, gotta admit. But can you trust them pictures? Probably not. They probably look better on them skinny models than they would on my niece, bless her heart, she’s built like a brick house. And you gotta buy ’em “directly from the makers,” which sounds fishy to me. What if they send ya a sack of potatoes instead of a dress?
And listen to this, they got rules about what colors you can wear to a wedding. Can’t wear the same color as the bridesmaids, they say. Well, what if I like pink? What if pink’s my color? Am I supposed to wear somethin’ looks like a sack just so I don’t upstage the bridesmaids? Ridiculous, I say.
Honestly, this whole weddin’ dress business is more complicated than fixin’ a tractor with a toothpick. Back in my day, you wore your best Sunday dress, and that was that. But these young folks, they gotta have everything just so. Makes an old woman tired just thinkin’ about it.
So, in the end, I told my granddaughter, “Pick what makes you happy, honey. Just don’t expect me to understand all this ‘pale blush’ and ‘slinky slip’ nonsense.” And I sure hope them dresses don’t cost more than a good cow, ’cause that’s just plain wasteful.
Bridesmaid dresses, they come in all sorts of colors, like that blue they call “baby blue,” and that purple called “lavender.” Some are even yellow, like a buttercup. If the weddin’ is fancy, they might wear somethin’ bright like “emerald” green or that “royal purple,” fit for a queen, they say. But for my money, a good, sturdy pink or white is just fine.
And about that pink wedding dress? Yes, some brides want to wear pink. It can be real pretty, I guess, if that’s your kind of thing. But it better be a darn sight better than that ‘blush’ pink. And remember, don’t go wearin’ the same color as the weddin’ party. It ain’t polite. Folks might get confused and think you’re tryin’ to steal the show. And nobody wants that at a wedding.
Anyways, that’s my two cents on this whole bridesmaid dress situation. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go soak my feet. All this talk about fancy dresses has made ‘em ache somethin’ fierce.
Tags: [Pink Bridesmaid Dresses, White Bridesmaid Dresses, Bridesmaid Dress Styles, Wedding Attire, Chiffon Dresses, Satin Dresses, Etsy Wedding, Wedding Colors, Bridal Party, Affordable Bridesmaid Dresses]
